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thank you for sharing your experience.

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I am ending an engagement with a man I strongly suspect has BPD. I am having a hard time getting my life back on track. I love him but I recognize he will destroy me if I stay.

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WHEW! I haven't had the time to finish reading your letter--but your girl and mine could be the same. She's Spanish, 35 years old (going on 16), has lived at home all her life (except when she went to Oxford U.) and she's anoretic. It was a tough two years, and we were married July 19, 2003. She came back here for 6 weeks--and returned home, suposedly to arrange to relocate here. Now, for the last three months, it's been hell on earth, as she accuses me of things that I never did, and a bunch of other stuff. I'm a counselor, of all things--but with no experience with BPD. I didn't put the pieces together until I read "Walking on Eggshells" and started to read your letter. 'Beats me what's gonna happen with us. I'm *not* codependent, needy, clingy, or anything like that, but I love her. The thing is, love is not enough. At least she's in Spain, as my friends tell me, so that might be a good thing. I'm getting long-winded, but thanks for posting your letter. I'm thinking about doing it, too, on my web site--and she suspects that I will, and has told me that all I want to do is hurt her. That's not true, but I do believe that people need to know, to learn, to have some insight into what life is like with someone who has (or might has, since it is non-verified in this case) BPD. Thanks! Be happy--and FEEL happy.

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Where to begin? The horror of discovering in May of 03 that my ex BP to be was having incest with a son she gave up for adoption 25yrs ago with our 6yr old daughter present with them in a one bedroom suite for three and one half days. Prior to this they were having internet and phone sex for six months(over 750hrs worth). As a recovering alcholic with double digit soberity and a PTSD sufferer from my combat marine vietnam experiences '67to'68 I have much compassion for those who suffer from any disorder or affliction! But this is no longer about her it is about the safety of our daughter and 4yr old son. I will say more later it is to painful. Thanks john

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Nice, Visit Ecology and Evolutionary Biology: Index

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I think my husband has BPD

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After 5 yrs. of denial I've accepted the fact my boyfriend has BPD,just finished reading Stop Walking on Eggshells, very helpful.I at the present time am on his devalued list for the 23rd time in 5yrs.Just need some support.

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Thank you so much for this letter. I have also written several. My BPD partner is a recovering alcoholic. I thought that the behavior was from the alcohol until the same behavior kept occuring. Then I found this site. I have elected to leave the relationship.