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I had a 3 year relationship with a BPD female. It was 20 years ago. I never was able to reconcile the pain and my failure to maintain it. Believing that I still loved her, contacted this person last year. My brief reaquantence with her almost drove me over the edge. I eventually sought help from a therapist who was able to pinpoint the situation. After much research and sole searching, I wrote her 2 letters urging her to seek help. One was clinical and one was emotional. Writing hese letters was theraputic for me; so much inner feelings of termoil were expelled. I can only say that I profoundly hope it changes her life. The scary thing is that I care but, I'm learning to care more about myself and let her go.

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Thank you so much for being there... I have been with a BPD for 10 years and I have about lost my mind. The rages, the chaos, the wildness, and now she (we're gay) has just about wrecked me financially. I want out. Every time I tell her to leave, she refuses, and if I leave, she leaves desperate, crying messages until I relent... it's so hard to get away from her. Now she's threatening that if I leave, she'll ruin me professionally, financially, and in any other way she can. It's pretty scary... here I am with a good job, good friends who tell me to leave her, and I can't seem to do it... my therapist says that my self-esteem is very low, and that I'm in a battered-wife-syndrome type of relationship. I keep hoping that things will get better. Thanks for listening-- I know you understand.

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What a God-send this site is-and this letter-both of which I will continue to study further. Your experiences are amazingly similar to many of my own with someone who I had to leave physically but haven't yet left emotionally or mentally. Thank you.

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I have been suffering for 10 years.My kids will suffer much longer because of sexual prejudice,bigotry,and general stupidity of the court system.The child protective services in califonia are a disgrace.

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The letter is fascinating. I am presently being divorced by an undiagnosed BP. The book " Stop Waling on Eggshells" describes her to a T. I am working very closely with my atty on how to deal in court with her "Persuasive Blamer" personality. I put my faith in the fact , that I had nothing to do with her "blaming" me for her unhappiness. Thank You for all of your information.

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I've recently ended a friendship that was short-lived but very intense and meaningful to me, and your letter is helping me to deal with it. For most of the friendship, I felt really crazy and unstable, and it's taking lots of effort to convince myself that it wasn't all me. Thanks for sharing your story.

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my relationship with someone that i love very dearly has been terminated by her. i have given her the best 5 years of my life, as i have loved her like no other. i have given myself totally to her and tried so hard to be there for her.....for the potential of us that she helped show me we had (at the beginning)....that i feel that i have nothing left to give anyone for the rest of my life.....i am 45 yrs old and i am trying to get past the destruction of having known her.....i feel an empty shell.....and am recovering from a near suicide attempt after she said good-bye

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Is your letter online, and if so, where can I locate it?

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Just stopping in to see whats new.