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Wow.. I am in the middle of the end of a relationship with someone who has BPD. (I didn't find out until a couple of weeks before the end, but also Bi-polar, paranoid disorder, narcisstic PD) I never knew there were so many stories out there like this. I myself have quite the horror story, but it will just sound like reverberation if I bother to tell it.. I found your story to be riveting because of the incredible similarity in many aspects to my own.. I had a lot of abuse in mine though, and it was always shrugged off -- I was told "you never raise a hand to a woman" when I had gotten punched in the head/neck/face probably 100 times in the last month of it... kicked probably 10 times, spit on twice and had my dinner taken away from me and thrown in the sink.. When I tried to leave her she called the police and told them I had hit her. I didn't, (and I don't care if you believe me) but the law is on the side of the females in these domestic disputes. I'm going to lose my house fighting this in court - I've been rendered ineffective at work - my neighbors all look at me funny now. While I was with her I felt like going to the roof of a tall building and taking a swan dive. Things are slowly getting better now, despite my legal situation.

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Hey. I wanted to thank you for writing this. My mother has never been diagnosed as BDP, but she displays many of the symptoms, as do I. This resounded so loudly with me that I started crying. I remember my mom being this way and at the same time I remember the times I've "attacked and shut down" just like you described your partner doing. More than anything, I don't want to be that person. I've worked for a long time to overcome my problems and this has helped to strenghten my resolve. Thanks.

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My wife of <6mos. and I are separated. She called Friday and Saturday, telling me she loved me, intimating suicide. On Sunday, she invited me over, hugged and kissed me and told me she'd always loved me. I couldn't understand the despondent tone and she finally admitted she'd filed for divorce. On Monday, I expected to receive the divorce papers. Yesterday (Tues.) my attorney called after receiving the papers from her atty. They alleged physical abuse, contained a protective order and had been filed the previous Thursday. I was stunned. I'd seen and talked to her several days in the interim and hadn't even known. Yesterday she called 4 times, sent one email and left one voicemail. I'm not allowed to take her calls and have forwarded the messages to my atty. What a profound disregard for her own rules! I'm sure she's switched to hating me since I didn't respond to her calls. I'm exhausted and sad, but relieved this relationship is finally closing. It's lasted 2.5 years and I think I've aged ten through the constant stress. Thanks for writing your experience. It helps to know I'm not crazy.