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I found your letter really insightful and helpful. I recently ended a very traumatic 2 1/2 yr relationship with a bp woman. I was not aware of her diagnosis or what it meant until very recently. Your experience was mild compared to mine. I was a victim of severe, regular, physical violence. I can really identify with your descriptions of the pulling close-pushing away behaviors. also the constant verbal and emotional abuse, and the bewilderment of losing your sense of self and sanity. it is easy to blame the BP for their grossly inappropraite behavior. it is more difficult to examine ourselves and our role. what is it that makes us think that we can "save" someone from an enemy that is really no one but themselves. why do we keep going back when it is obviously an exercise in futility, and can only lead to further pain and degradation? I struggle with these questions. How did I become such a glutton for punishment? I am seeing a psychiatrist later today. I loved this woman very intensely.Everything about her seemed magnified beyond normal human proportions.

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I just ended a relationship with a woman who is 35 and I believe to be a bpd. After reading a lot on the bpdcentral sites it's all making sense and I'm not going crazy. The public temper tantrums, the memory loss of important discussions we have, not lack of responsibility for her dog, for herself, for paying people back, for the entitlement attitude...it's all there..sadly, I love her...ugh...and I wish there was hope. We did the never ending cycle of break-up get back together and unfortunately I think her mother is very similar. she writes it off as being of french decent and that her family just has a history of a "temper". Frightening...though i know after reading everything that it's possible...so sad..so sad..so sad. But atleast it makes me not hate her and move on...it will be hard but I will not look back because i do feel I lost part of my life for about a year...thanks for this site and all your input. It's not that you don't love them...it's just that they just don't have the capacity to really love the whole you the way you deserve...

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Oh...this is been a very helpful site.....

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Hi everyone greatsite weljob keep it up by.

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I am going through a divoce. My counselor thinks my wife is a borderliner. She has stopped going to counseling, and believes I am the one who needs to change. My wife has not shown the self destructive behavior except for destoying our relationship with irrational anger and unpredictable mood swings which had me walking on eggshells because I would not know which it was going to be when she got out of bed - vinegar or honey. The destructive part has been directed at me, mainly destroying any feeling of love or warmth toward my wife. It will be refreshing to be away from the porcupine quills.

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Thank .you for being here for us nons. I pray for the stregth I feel I will need to do the healthy thing.