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Thanks for sharing your experience. My BP son goes through similiar experiences in his relationships... which he needs so much. I am hoping that he will read your letter.

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Thanks for posting that account. Someone I care for has the same condition as your ex-partner and I know how much self doubt it can cause to the nonBPD. I'm trying to be just a friend to my BPD person - but it's difficult because you have to put so much effort into being a friend and you don't get much back except occasional inscencere praise and fairly frequent lies. We have to remember that it's not their fault though, I guess it's the really sensitive, lovely people who get most hurt by childhood abuse and then develop BPD. Cheers

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I am a newly diagnosed BP. I saw a lot of myself in your description of your BP partner. I acted pretty much that way when I was younger (20s) and when I was drinking. I have not had a drink or drug in nearly 20 years (I am now 50). I worked hard in therapy for many years and worked the steps in AA as well as helping others through volunteer work. All this time, I thought I had a bad case of PMS as it was especially bad around "that time." Now, I am experiencing menopause and thought THAT was what was wrong. But I am having a meltdown and through it, I remembered the psychiatrist I saw 2 years ago mumbling something about "borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies." I received no written info or suggestions about what it was. I was so convinced it was the mood swings of menopause, I didn't pay that much attention! I am scrambling to learn about it now. My poor lover! Although I'm not as bad as portrayed here (at least I don't think I am) I recognize so many of my behaviors (mostly blame and nitpicking) that I know this has been my problem most of my adult life. Thank you for having the courage to put your side of things on the Web. I went to my first Recovery, Inc. meeting the other night and have begun reading the Recovery book. I am trying to find a therapist who works with BPD people. No one in my area, but I am willing to drive out of town to get help. I want to salvage my relationship with my lover. I hope it is not too late. I feel bad for her for having wound up with what we laughingly referred to as a "flake" after all. I never dreamed I would be the flake in her life. I feel bad for me being one. But, there is a little light at the end of the long tunnel if I can change my behavior. I have the best girl in the world and she, like the author deserves all the good that life has to offer.

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i have been in a state of denial for three years. i had no idea that there was so many people out there living the same life/nightmare as me. I am in the first month of a divorce with a bpd and i now know that the rollercoaster ride has just begun.

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Looking forward to more information, understanding and my own recovery as a Non-BP. :)

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i think the website is great and it is full of info. fancy project is also very good.

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I am so excited to have been invited to this site! It is wonderful, and I see, a lot of work went into it! I look forward to meeting you all in cyberspace! If anyone wants to contact me...please do!