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Dear Chris, Are you sure your EX BPD/G/F isn't my ex BPD G/F!? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for sharing this letter publically. You are doing the world a huge favor, b/c I myself thought I was completely alone in my torment & pain. I'm sure others have found the same relief. I wish you much love and happiness in your life. Best, Rebecca

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"money" should be "month". Sorry. What should I do?

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My ex gf has BPD. We met at work and fell deeply in love with each other. Things were going great. We planned on getting married and everything. But suddenly she started to get distant from me and eventually broke up with me saying it's too hard being in a relationship. Of course this was said after I fell completley in love with her. She didn't treat me poorly though. Now I understand why it was so hard for her. She ended it because she didn't want to hurt me. I feel so empty right now. She was the love of my life. It's hard to let go. We are friends now and it's been about a money since we broke up. I feel if I continue to be her friend then I will never be able to let go and move on. I keep hoping in time she'll take me back.

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thank you so much for sharing this in cyberspace. I'm in the process of leaving a relationship just like this. It's so hard. It's often frightening, because I'm always looking over my shoulder, wondering when the 'other shoe' will be lobbed directly at my head. just.......thank you.

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WOW. I so needed to read the WHOLE thing. Now I need to do the WHOLE thing. Your struggle is my struggle and I thank you for your thoughtful, insightful and intelligent account of your relationship. Your analysis and level of detail really helped me get it. I have / had 6 years of time and have felt that enough is enough, enough times but maybe the resonance I feel with your letter will move me to the next step which is STAY AWAY. peace.

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I was very intrigued by your letter. My g/f of 7 1/2 yrs left me for a girl with bpd that she had known for maybe 6 mos. I know she isn't in a good place, she controls her anxiety/panic with meds and is recovering alcoholic. I fear for her sobriety and mental state everyday. I know the bpd played on her emotions, because as "Heather" states everyone has abandoned her,and she would be non-functional or she is also a self-mutilator. I'm sure it won't last for them, but again I fear for my ex.

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Looking forward to a wonderful life and to see it reduced little by little and not know why? How could she come up with such stuff? Made because she thought my 19 year old daughter moved the curtain. I mean WHAT? Answers help me move on. Thanks

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I'm impressed on how my 2-year relationship was close to yours. I left her 2 weeks ago. And I discovered about BPD 1 week ago and immediately classified her as high-performing and acting-out BPD. Anyhow, I think you are doing a great work on informing people what is BPD. I wish every man knew about BPD so he can detect on early relationship steps and decide on whether to accept it or to leave.

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