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I am at this moment trying to finish with a 57yr old Woman whom I have had a relationship with for over three years now.The first night I met her after having sex with her,I knew something was not quite right,she abused me for not putting the Toilet set back down after using the Toilet.From then on my life went into chaos..I thought she was just bad tempered,but when I started to put all the other symptoms together,I found a package.I thought that if I gave her lots of love and attention she would come right,little did I know..!!I got onto the Web and tried to find out what was causing this chaos in her head.All the symptoms of BPD fit her like a glove.I have lost count of how many bust ups we have had..really nasty,with me to blame of course,but I always went back for more..because I loved her..really loved her.I am so sad I probably will not be with her,....no one has ever lasted ..why should I be any different..I could rattle off a Littany of abnormal behaviours,but you all out there know them all.She is in complete denial of her problem..as is her family,{I am always painted as the Villian,they never hear my side of the story.} and it is always me that wears her wrath from them all. She is not always bad..and the thought of these times seduced me back,only to be skewered again after a short period of time.I just hope I can be strong enough to walk away for good,as I know the inevitable outcome of going back to her,she is like a Siren,always seducing me onto the Rocks,she is a good person at Heart with a serious problem,I wish I did not love her..

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Wow - I am surprised you stayed with this person for so long, but I'm glad you got out. I pity her because she is obviously very ill, but no one should have to put up with abuse even from ill people. Good for you for getting your life back!

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Thank you SO much. I just read all your letter avidly - you were so brave to share it and you have made such a positive difference, not only to me but clearly to many others. I recognise so much in this letter - a lot of it felt like I was actually writing it. It took me a long time to work out what issues were driving my former partner's behavioural and communication difficulties. Even though I have the qualifications to do so, my head and heart were so extremely mangled by her that I couldn't see the wood for the trees. My professional advice to anyone still struggling, still fondly hoping it'll work if only you keep on loving...? RUN. NOW. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such honest and kindly validation.

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Thank you does not seem like it's enough... but thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

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Thank you so much for being willing to share so much about your relationship. It is clear how much work you have done to recover and heal and how much that work has paid off for you. You're a brave person and the health that you now embody is quite evident. Thanks for helping shed some light on my own situation. Many blessings to you.

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My half-sister has been diagnosed with BPD. We didn't grow up together but we've been in and out of each others lives for 48 years and my relationship with her has been the most painful of any I have experienced, by far. I have ended off on having anything to do with her more times than I can remember but in two or three years time, sometimes in a few months, something brings us back together and the fact that we're so close in age, have had so many experiences in common, share so many philosophical realities, and have so little other family, keeps me coming back for more sisterhood, a closeness I have with no other in this world, that is, until her next outrageous betrayal. I've been diagnosed with Stage Four Cancer recently and she's in communication with me once again. BPD is new to me. Any comments would be very welcome.

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