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In the beginning, I had no idea that BPD's existed. I was stuck in a terrifying relationship for 2.5 years with a BPD man - perpetual threats and physical violence. Had I believed that his multiple divorces and felony conviction were not past "mistakes", I would have avoided him like the plague. Love DOES NOT overcome everything. He was also a mama's boy, and I discovered later, an alcoholic - he hid it well. He was also a Vietnam Veteran. Pay attention to red flags! My story is much worse than the one written by Chris. My BPD ex-boyfriend admitted that he already killed one of his fiances in a road-rage car accident. I'm glad that I got out of the relationship alive.

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I have recently found out what BPD is. My wife of 37 years has it. Your letter was a good depiction of what living with one is.

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Your letter is so true of my experience too, vivid and exact in nature, situation and principle. A couple months ago I ended this 2.5 yr relationship of termoil with a bpd girl. Same crapola you went thru. At about 6 weeks the problems started, the push pull and other head games hadnt stopped until I recently ended it. I feel very sorry for my ex. She has told me about her past relationships being full of termoil too. To this day she denies being the problem. hmmm I learned a lot about myself, her and bpd. I do regret though staying in it for 2.5 years.

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Thanks for sharing. I was struck by your ex-partner's letter; how pathetic in its self-deluded quality yet so poignant in revealing her BP inner hell. As someone in a 20 year marriage to a BP woman, I salute your emancipation.

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very interested to read your story

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Thank you for publishing this letter. I left a BPD person 5 months ago after a 14 month relationship, and it has been hard on me. Your letter was the one I would've written to her, and it helps so much to know I am not alone. It also gives me strength and hope for my future. Thanks again!

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[Regarding below] Well I suppose that _is_ one way of looking at it...

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You seem like a huge obsessive jerk. I can't believe how obsessed you have/currently been with this relationship.

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I recently made the discovery that I am a non-bpd. My wife - soon to be ex wife has this disorder I believe. Thank you for making this site. William