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I have been with my partner for four years & have just recently realized that the explanation for her behavior is BPD. I can't begin to tell you of all the craziness, anger, hurt feelings & verbal abuse that has inflicted upon me endured because of her behavior. I want out of this relationship badly but like the author of the letter, I do care for her & do love her when she is not in one of her 'moods'. To make matters worse, she has stage 4 breast cancer & is currently receiving chemo so blames her behavior on the effects of the medications & the stress of her illness. (of course) She has alienated her family & some of her friends. If I break up with her, she literally has no where to go nor any money to go with. Ethically I don't feel I can kick her out of the house (I own it) because deep down I really do care for her. I have just gotten the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells" & the workbook that goes with it. Even tho I have just started to read & work these books, I highly recommend them. I know I can't change her behavior but I can certainly change mine & draw some boundaries about what I am willing to tolerate & what I'm not. I think these books will help me do that. Would like to correspond with others in this situation.

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I'm very interested in any or all stories-trying to learn as much as possible. Thank you for your story, Dave Ramponi

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very good

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i would like any correspondence on getting help before i see a lawyer on getting custody of my children. she twists everything, and now she has her 18 year old son who has lived with us for 13 years twisted totally. she used to beat the hell out of me when her son was between 5-10, and he saw alot of it. he now says that he saw me beating her. i only slapped her one time with the intention of snapping her out of it. please send this to whoever else can help. we have 2 beautiful girls who are being affected. my wife has seen 6 different doctors since 1990. the doctots have never spoken to each other, i want to compile the doctors information into one file for the court to see. i also have her brother who will go to court with me to verify that she had this problem as a child, causing relationships and her first marriage to fail also. she was beating her first boyfriend when she was 12 years old. then her first husband. my brother in law knew first hand of all this . please help me.

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I was once best friends (sisters almost...I pratically lived at her house) with someone who had bpd for two years....last year when she told me that she had been cutting herself it was horrible. I tried to help her, but she became so mentally sick that I just couldn't take it anymore and became depressed myself. My friends didn't notice because I am a good actor when it comes to smiling, and I managed to pull myself out of the depression, but now our friendship is ruined simply because she is just that sick...she just...can't understand. Your story was very touching and I wish the best of luck to you.

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Wow, what a clear and well written account of your relationship. I am a nonBPwho has lived with a BP female for ten years. I am just at the point where I am realizing that it will never get better. She has tried to commit suicide 5 times in the last month. I feel extremely guilty leaving her at this point, but I need to find myself, and she is desperately trying to "hold on". Everyone deserves happiness in their life, I am glad you found yours...I hope I can find the same.

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The letter broke my heart, for the both of you. Thank you for your honesty and courage.