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Thanks for sharing. Here is another story like yours (and mine): http://hometown.aol.com/wcwiseman/AnotherPlace.htm

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hu iam 38yrs old and i been living with a bp for 9 yrs,how can u explaine to anyone about this illness? well its over now thank god...charles

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I am trying to decide whether to go forward with a Protective Order and ask the judge at the hearing to stipulate my BPD husband go to therapy, provide the court and me with an evaluation, report of progress in 3-6 months, so I may decide whether to proceed with divorce or not.

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just trying to make some sense of the person I am with, the person I love, and trying to gain a better understanding of why things happen.

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I read your letter the other night, I could not beleive the number of parallells in from your letter and my life. Doing the dishes hit me a number of times. How could something so small be of such a large consequence. I thought for the longest time that it was either me or my sanity. We went to 4 marriage counselors. Every time was the same thing. I had the problem. I would fall back on two things, either i was crazey or it was my fault. Everytime counseling turned its attention from me, the counselor went from a hero to a heal. You were lucky to have only wasted 2 years of your life. I say wasted because that it how i feel about my life of nine years. Thank you for your letter, it was a great help.

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Its obvious she needed therapy before even engaging in a relationship with anybody. However, I don't think that writing a big letter about your personal business with her and publishing it on the internet is necessarily the right way to give her some self confidence about getting some help for what she has been like. People with BPD have often experienced this kind of behaviour to them (abuse) and so have had it hard wired. Pulling them apart for this and presenting it on a plate is not going to be very helpful. Instead of picking at the surface problems all the time, try looking at the roots of how all this began. It sounds as if she was just struggling for somebody to listen to her and she didn't know how to put it into words. I've seen worse horror stories come from the support groups I've attended in the past though, most of them resulting in court cases.

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Thanks for writing that letter. It couldn't have been more accurate. I've recently ended a relationship with a sufferer of BPD. I felt I had no other choice. It was either that or go insane. I realize that my own codependency issues are just as bad as her BPD. Thanks.