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I don't know who to turn to. It's me, I'm stuck in this suicidal state and I can't seem to get out. I've been suffering from depression for almost 5 years, and I'm only 19 years old. I was prescribed medication to control my moods and suicidal thoughts but they never helped. It all started when my nan died when I was 14. I'll never forget that moment, she was like my mum, she was my mum. We did everything together and now she was taken away from me, why did this happen to us? Then it carries on, my mum became an alcoholic, an abusive, vile alcoholic, with no concern about anyone else's feelings or safety, although when she wasn't intoxicated, she could be just as lovely and willing to help. But these times are slim, she is always got a bottle of wine or two stashed away where she thinks we can't seem them and don't know. I've been wished dead by both my mum and my dad, secrets have come forward that they never wanted me as a baby and attempted to miscarry me when I was in the womb, and nearly succeeded. I'm left out of my sisters lives and I have no friends. I've had boyfriends, but I always seem to be the one that gets stomped on, always me that gets hurt. Which, I suppose is why I'm back in this state. Recently, my boyfriend has just split up with me, and I adore him. I can't seem to let go. Although these thoughts are always present, and I have attempted suicide in the past, this has just come to a head again. I can't seem to escape. Who can honestly get back up and dust themselves off after being told your mum doesn't care, she is no longer willing to support me through this depression and attempts. Like she ever did anyway. I have a history of mental illness and self-harm, but nobody seems to care or notice. I just get judged when people see the scars on my wrist and body. Which is why I feel I have no-one to turn to. I know, I'd be better off out of this world, and everyone that I come into contact would benefit from my death. I hope it works this time, because if not, I've still got nothing to live for. I see no place for me on this earth anymore.

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My brother (46 yrs) took his life 3 months ago and it was a huge shock. As you will all know, I now realise losing a person you love in this way is unlike any other grief: the guilt, anger, desire to blame someone. Apart from his act of suicide, the hardest thing to deal with is the silence. I returned to work and no-one to this day has mentioned it. My husband even told his family that my brother died of a heart attack. He didnt. Chris, my brother committed suicide and none of us heard him "ringing the bell" til it was too late. Most people do not know the warning signs until after the fact.

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After reading some of the stories l feel that lm not alone.Finding my husband in the garage on our 38th wedding annirversry.He hung himself he suffered borderline personaity disorder.That was 19 08 2010.We had the best possible help available but when it all boils down to it IT would,nt made any diffrence.He was my soul mate he was the best father our children could ask for and the most wonderful grandfather in the world.But his demons were to powerful and they beat him. Life will never be the same with out him here not for any of us.I love and miss him so much .My only hope is that he has found the peace that he so richly deserves.

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My husband took his life nearly a year ago. I have been getting more and more dissapointed in the lack of help and support there is for the families. Myself and my then 3 year old son found him and it took nearly 2months for me to find someone willing to take on my son dealing with the trauma. It is also annoying how much suicide seems to be joked about. Constantly on popular tv shows and movies. To be honest i never really noticed it before now but the fact that they do joke about it proves that unless you've been through this you dont realise how big a problem it is.

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I have recently lost one of my 15 year old friends due to suicide, i think it is terriable what he had to go through in his life and me and all of his other friends wish he was back!!! its hard to move on but we all know thats what he wouldve wanted us to do !!!!? so from me and all of his other friends we say WE ARE ALWAYS THINKIN OF YOU SCOTTY RIP Buddy !!!! xx Grace

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May 29th, my birthday, and White Wreath Day. I found attending this service and laying a wreath with my sons photo every year these past 2 years has given me some comfort and helped me towards acceptance. This will be my tribute every year to show my love for my kind and sensitive son and to be near others who also feel my constant heartache. "Thank You" Fanita for White Wreath day.